Seize The Moments

Last Friday, I was sitting in a coffee shop with some teens studying God's Word, when I realized the importance of seizing the moment.

I have a deep respect for single parents and an equally deep respect for kids of single parents! Having been married for 23 years and raising two amazing kids with my husband, I think about all the one on one time we got to share with our kids. Those were special trips to the movies, a night away in a nearby town or dinner and shopping just the 2 of us. I loved and cherished EVERY one of those moments but I also valued the times when my husband would take the kids so I could have ME TIME! The best part was that there was ALWAYS someone there that could take the kids so Chris or I could have that me time. A spouse is in one way, a built in babysitter.

Single moms and single dads don't have that luxury, that built in babysitter. Every trip to the movies or dinner out is one on one time. And those kids of single parents don't get that special one on one time with just mom and then just dad. They get it with one or the other but never both.

In the coffee shop last Friday, I asked the gals and guys what they were doing for Spring Break. Some had great plans but some had no plans at all. "My mom will be working so we're not going anywhere" or "my dad can't take off so I am spending Spring Break at home". That's when God prompted me to SEIZE THE MOMENT. "Let's take a girls trip and go hiking in the mountains", I suggested. They jumped on the idea. We started planning and by the end of the day we had a quick, mini vacation planned for the following Thursday.

The excitement and love in these girl's voices made my heart melt. The appreciation expressed by the single moms and single dad was well worth any monetary or time sacrifice I was making. God has blessed me to be a blessing. He calls us to take care of the widows, orphans and the poor. I believe He also calls us to help the single parents in our world. Divorce was not an issue 2000 years ago but today it is. I know single parents would be included in that scripture if Jesus wrote it today!

What moment can you SEIZE today? I have found that the best medicine for depression, anger, worry or grief is to take the focus off of me and pour into someone else. Who can you help today? What single parent, child of a single parent, widow, orphan, struggling family, etc, can you bless today? Lets be known as a generation who is unbelievably generous! I love you all and pray that you are all blessed beyond measure!

Melissa

You Never Know When You Will See The Fruit

Day to day, the same routine. Go to work, come home, go to sleep, do it again. Then... you get a text, a phone call or a visit. Something is happening and you get to be a part of it!

Work was great as always. (Thank God I get to do something I LOVE and call it a job!) I was sitting at home contemplating dinner when I got a text message that made my heart so happy. A sweet girl (21), who I have known since she was 7, sent me a text that said she was thinking about getting baptized but didn't know how to go about it. I was so happy. Happy for her, her mom and dad, her siblings, her future children... this is a generation changing decision! Even after years of not talking to her, she chose to contact me to talk about her BIG decision. Thank you Lord that I got to have that conversation with Ash. I am nothing special, and know that wholeheartedly, but this was a harvest for seeds planted over 13 years ago.

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

There are many times in life when it feels like what we are doing doesn't matter. It feels like you are making no progress, not making a difference. I'm here to tell you, DON'T GIVE UP! When you least expect it, you too will see the fruit of seeds planted long ago.

You may be in a season where you keep getting hit in the face with bad news. Don't stop doing good. Don't stop helping others. Don't stop trusting. Don't stop forgiving or loving. Tomorrow may be your day to reap a harvest from seeds you have been planting; just like today was mine.

I will continue to WAIT, TRUST & FOLLOW. Never giving up. Loving others and most importantly loving GOD and being obedient to Him! I hope you will too!

Love you guys! I am so proud of you Ash! 

Spontaneous... Sometimes It's Ok To Not Have A Plan!

Spontaneous... Sometimes It's Ok To Not Have A Plan! That one statement is hard for a type A personality like mine to say, let alone do! On Friday at 3:00, a crazy idea crossed my mind and I ran with it. I wanted to surprise my husband with a getaway and I decided that I would do it without a plan. By 4:00 we were packed and on our way to the Cumberland Mountains in east Tennessee.

Honestly, I think my spontaneity impressed my hubby more than the trip but either way, I am glad I did it.

Sometimes in life, we miss out on opportunities to just enjoy living because we focus on having everything figured out before we do anything.  In a lot of life situations, planning is critical, but not in everything. You need to plan a budget, plan for retirement and plan for college or marriage but not everything has to have a plan.

Within one hour of leaving our driveway, I begin to have anxiety about my lack of a plan. I worried about spending money I hadn't planned on. I worried about leaving town without letting my son know we wouldn't be home. (Don't call child protective services, he is not a child. He is 22) I had to remind myself to relax and just enjoy the next couple of days. 

We stayed in a hotel we had never stayed at, in a town we had only driven through 1 time before. I didn't even know if there were good restaurants close! For the record, there were no "good" restaurants but we had the time of our life people watching, while eating the $5.99 breakfast buffet at Shoney's at 10:00pm.

We drove to the top of the highest mountain, we fed llamas and ate lunch with our daughter and her fiance'. The best part of our trip was I had no plan. No plan meant no pressure to meet deadlines and no expectations of how our time should be spent. It was perfect.

As I look back on this spontaneous trip, I realize that my need for a plan feeds my need for control. Can you relate? What can you do to exercise the inner spontaneity in you? Sometimes, it's okay to not have a plan! 

Live life to the fullest because no one is promised tomorrow. Love God and Love people with all your heart. Shake things up every once in awhile. You might even like the freedom you feel in not having to have EVERYTHING figured out!

Love you guys. Please pray for my pastor who had another scan done to make sure he is still cancer free. His results come back Tuesday or Wednesday. Our God and His plans and purposes are bigger than any cancer diagnosis!

What Character Traits Do You Value Most?

As a young girl, I had a group of friends that I did everything with. We walked to school together, played softball, had sleepovers... Those girls were my introduction to the importance of BEST FRIENDS. I needed them in my life and they needed me. It felt good. To this day, I am still friends with many of them. 36 years and over 700 miles can't break that bond. We are loyal, real and resilient.

As an adult, I have had many friends. Some were for a season and others for a lifetime. What makes the difference? Why can time and distance separate some friendships yet others survive regardless of circumstances? That's a great question. I think it has everything to do with shared values.

Have you ever met someone and instantly knew you would be friends for life? I have been blessed to have that happen on more than one occasion. A couple of them are because the person was so much like me it was almost scary. We just "got" each other. Others, the person couldn't be more different from outward appearances. I'm not real "girly" but a few of my BEST FRIENDS are all girly. One is even rightfully nicknamed Bling!

I don't think it depends on appearance or personality or even where we live. I think it depends on the character traits or values that we value most. God gave all of us certain values or character traits that make us who we are.  For me, the three that I value most are loyalty, authenticity and resilience.  I remain loyal no matter what and expect the same from my friends. I don't care about being perfect as long as I remain authentic and that is what I look for in others. Life is hard and I know that God put a resilience in me because He knew my resilience would inspire others. I tend to love and treasure people who have had to be over-comers/fighters, resilient in tough life circumstances.

Every BEST FRIEND I have, man or woman, possess those character traits. We've all heard, "never judge a book by it's cover", it's all about the content! 

I love all my friends, even those who don't call me "friend" anymore, but when I find those instant, soul touching, BEST FRIENDS, I know immediately that they will be friends for life. Life circumstances can not separate us, moving across the country, having children, not having children, nothing can separate us because like me, they value loyalty, authenticity and resilience.

What character traits do you value most? Do your BEST FRIENDS possess those traits?  Does your spouse posses those traits? I bet they do! When you share values it makes a difference in your relationship.

Submission is truly tested when we DON'T agree!

I had a long trip to Ohio ahead of me. I had never driven this route on my own, so I typed my destination address in the good old GPS, and set out on my way. The first half of my trip was uneventful. I followed the GPS directions to a T. They all made sense! It was when the crazy thing told me to head south on the highway that I first questioned it's sanity. I'm not a geography major, but I could find NO logical reason to travel south when Ohio is most definitely north of Tennessee. The first thought that went through my head was, "you are surely mistaken", so I went with my own logic and headed North on that highway. I was privileged to listen to the GPS tell my every 10 seconds to "make a legal U-Turn" for the next 5 miles until I decided, "Fine, I'll try going your way for a little while." Much to my surprise, 2 miles from where I originally rebelled, the trusty thing had me get on my final road and head East. Imagine that, the GPS knew the right way to go even if it defied my feeble logic!

In life, there are times when God directs our paths in directions that go against logic. In directions that we don't agree with. It is in those moments that our submission to God's plan is truly tested. It is easy to submit when we agree but true submission is doing what is asked when we don't necessarily agree. 

This starts early in life, definitely in our teen years. You know the times. When our friends are going to that party and we get that sick feeling in our stomach that says we shouldn't go. It's our choice whether we "listen" to that feeling and not go, or rebel and go anyways. What about when we know that the "cool" boy that skips school all the time is not boyfriend material but we decide to date him anyways. He may break our heart or even worse take our purity. These are the GPS moments in our teen years when listening to our brains feels better, but listening to our spirit is what we need to do.

As adults, the GPS in our spirit may be pointing us to leave that job that is comfortable because God has other plans for us. It may be that our husband feels led to get out of debt and sale our "dream" home but we scream, fight and throw a tantrum until we get our way. We spend the next 5 years struggling financially with the GPS screaming "make a legal U-Turn" all because we allowed our emotions to control our submission or lack there of.

It is ALWAYS better to submit than to rebel. Submission takes on many facets, wives should submit to their husbands, children should submit to their parents, we should ALL submit to those who are in authority to us such as our boss or pastor. Most importantly, if you are a Christian, you should submit to the will of God over your life.

What if, like me, you rebel and don't submit? MAKE A LEGAL U-TURN! It is never too late to get on the right route!

Love you guys!

When Tragedy Strikes... Families Pull Together ... Why Does It Take A Tragedy?

I don't know about in your family, but in mine, our biggest reunions happen at family funerals. I have spent the last few days at my husband's mom's house surrounded by many, many relatives, some of which I had never met in my 25 years in the family. I wish I could say that some amazing family member planned, organized and executed a giant FAMILY REUNION but unfortunately, it took the death of mammaw to bring us all together. Why does it take a tragedy to bring a family together?

As I was lying in bed this morning, I began to think about life and how trials and tragedies are what propels us to reach out. When you get a bad diagnosis at the doctor, you reach out for prayer and support. When a family member passes away, we reach out for comfort from our friends and family. When you lose a job, your home burns down, so on and so on, this is when we do the reaching out or reach out to those affected by one of these tragedies.

We do the same thing with God. When we are hurting is when we really reach out for God. He wants us to reach out to Him all the time. When things are going good we build our relationship with Christ so that when things turn bad, we TRUST Him to be there. It's natural to spend more time with Christ when tragedy strikes, and that is okay, but don't neglect spending time with Him during the easy times.

The same holds true in our earthly relationships. We need to be intentional to reach out during the "good" times, to build the TRUST and bond, so that in the bad times, we have those people to reach out to. How can we be intentional in reaching out when we are forced by tragedy to do so?

1. Plan a trip to visit when you don't "have to".
2. Make a phone call and just visit to visit.
3. Go to lunch, dinner, or coffee.
4. Send a card or letter. A hand written note is priceless.

I love my friends and family dearly but I will admit that I do not do a good job of this all of the time. I am going to be more intentional. I hope you will be too! Love you all!

Why Are We Picky Beggars?

As I was eating my lunch today, my little chihuahua sat at my feet begging for just one bite. I usually don't give in, but today his little eyes pulled at my heart, so I tossed him a fry. He ran over to it with such enthusiasm until he sniffed it. That little brat left the fry laying on the floor and came back to my feet to beg some more. I chuckled at the thought and tore off a piece of hamburger. I barley pulled my fingers back in time before he gulped that meat down without even chewing. Crazy little dog!

This got me thinking about myself and when I pray or "beg" God. I imagine God sitting up in heaven, looking at me at His feet, and thinking you crazy kid,  I have blessed you with so much but here you sit "begging" for something better.

I want to be content with what God has given me in this season of life. Don't get me wrong, I believe that our awesome God blesses us more than we could ever think or imagine. The problem is, I can be picky in what I receive as a blessing.

Sometimes the situations in life may not feel like a blessing but I want to start living a life where I look at all situations with a positive attitude. Often the trials, or fries in life, turn out to be God's biggest blessing. Let's join to together and thank God in all things. Good, bad, exciting, boring... whatever, they are all blessings. Each minute, each moment, each celebration, even each trial is a gift.

I want God's will for my life and for yours. I want to be thankful in all things. Let's not be picky beggars!

I love you guys!

Life Is Risky!

Life Is RISKY! Dating, Marrying, Going to School, Not Going to School, Getting a Job, Changing Jobs, Moving, Staying. Not just the obvious parts but ALL parts of life are RISKY.

When I was 18 and saying "I DO" on the altar at my church, to the love of my life, that was RISKY. If I had listened the the majority and believed I was too young or that it would have never last, I would not be celebrating my 23rd anniversary this summer.

Having two kids by the time I was 21 was VERY RISKY, but I knew, for medical reasons beyond my control, I needed to have my kids early. It was a risk well worth taking because I am as close as any parent could be to two amazing adults now.

Trusting a doctor who asked if we believe in miracles, to treat my husband's cancer , when all other doctors said the treatment would never work. They told us life post treatment would be so horrible that just going home and enjoying the days we had left was a much better option. Choosing to fight, was RISKY. 8 years later, I am so grateful we chose to fight!

Switching jobs was RISKY. Moving across the country was RISKY. I have chosen to take many risks in life and sadly, there have been risks that I haven't taken. I was scared. Scared of failing, scared of what others would say, scared of making the wrong choice. FEAR is the enemy of HAPPINESS. Fear grips and and causes us to play it safe, not take risks. When we allow fear or being comfortable to keep us from taking risks, we walk through the same ruts over and over again.

God intended for us to live life not in fear but in hope. Knowing that He is in control. He is here to walk with us as we take risks. Carry us when we can't walk anymore. Yes life is RISKY but God is bigger than all of that! Taking risks is worth it when God is on our side.


Last night I had the privilege to hear Christine Caine bring the house down at a women's event at Long Hollow with over 2500 other ladies. POWERFUL doesn't even begin to describe the night! She challenged us to take RISKS. Not to live in our comfort zone but to take the risks God is calling us to take!

Is Valentines Day Just For Those With A Significant Other?

Is Valentines Day Just For Those With A Significant Other??? My answer to that is NO! Since the 14th century, Valentines Day has been associated with LOVE. Before that is was a day to honor St Valentine of Rome who was martyred for performing marriage ceremonies for Christian soldiers imprisoned in Rome. He was buried on February 14, hence the reason why we celebrate Valentines Day on this day.

Okay, now that I got the history part over, I want to share why today is not just for husbands & wives, boyfriends & girlfriends, and the such.

When you are married or dating, you should never NEED a reminder to express your LOVE. You should do it everyday in the little things; like opening a car door, cooking dinner, cleaning the house, making his lunch, taking out the trash (before it's spilling out everywhere!!), a kiss goodnight, a text of encouragement, praying together, etc. You get the point.

So, today I am going to remember to express my LOVE for my amazing husband who I have celebrated 24 Valentines Days with, but I am also going to remember to express LOVE to those around me who may not have a special someone to buy them flowers or take them to dinner.

No day should ever be a day of exclusion. The greatest commandment Jesus left us with was to LOVE. My favorite verse is 1 Peter 4:8 "Above all, LOVE each other deeply, because LOVE covers over a multitude of sins."

Who can you include on this Valentines Day? Which of your friends or family don't have a Valentine? Send them a text, call them, buy them chocolates or flowers, take them to dinner... just find a way to include them!
This world would be a much better place if we treated everyday like Valentines Day and loved our GOD with all of our hearts and loved our neighbors as ourselves.

Happy VALENTINES day my friends. I LOVE you all and pray everyone of you feels loved on this day and everyday because our God LOVES you and that is what is most important.

If Tomorrow Never Comes...

If Tomorrow Never Comes...

I was reminded this week of the importance of living today and not waiting until tomorrow. A sweet, precious friend lost her husband Bruce on February 5. Was it expected? Was he sick? No and No! He went to sleep and woke up in heaven. That was it. No tomorrow, no next month or next year. 

God tells us to live in the now. Not to worry about tomorrow or stay in yesterday. Most of the time I am good about remembering that but sometimes I forget. I find myself thinking about what I should have done or stressing out about things that haven't even happened yet. Do you find yourself regretting or worrying rather than trusting and enjoying?

Lets make a commitment to live for today. Love those around us. Spend less time planning and more time doing. Sit down with your kids and play that game tonight. You don't have to wait until game night. Go and have coffee with your widowed neighbor. Stop thinking someone else will do it. God put them on YOUR heart not someone else's. Throw your hair in a pony tail and skip the make up today so that you can spend a little extra time with your husband this morning rather than looking "perfect" for everyone else.

I want to start each day knowing that it's a gift not a guarantee. How about you? Let's let go and enjoy this moment. Be happy, love fully, forgive daily, and give to others. If I go to be tonight and my tomorrow never comes like  Bruce's didn't on February 6. I want to know that I embraced today as if it was my last. No regrets!

I love you all and pray that you can live everyday like there is no tomorrow.

Perspective... A magical word!

When I woke up this morning and looked out the back door I was not surprised that the sky was yet again, a blanket of dreary, grey clouds. Just like yesterday, and the day before, and the day before... you get the picture! One thing I know for sure about myself is that I LOVE sunshine. The brightness, the heat, the warm feeling that it gives me not only on the outside but inside as well.

People... There is a reason why doctors diagnose us with seasonal depression. We need sunshine!

This has been a season of dreariness in Tennessee like have I have not experienced before. Day after day, the sun stays hidden behind clouds. Just like in life. We go through "seasons" where it feels the sun will never shine again. At every turn, it's as if the whole world is against us. Guess what... The sun is there. It may be hidden but it is still there. We have to choose to find it!

Even when we can't see the solution, or feel the love, or find the reason, we have a choice to make. We can focus on the negatives or CHOOSE to stay focused on the positives. We can believe in only we what see or we can have FAITH in the things unseen.

It's your CHOICE. No one can make it for you. Neither people or circumstances should effect our perspective. We should steer our own ship.

Here are 3 things I do everyday to make sure I am keeping a "sunny" perspective:

1. Pray! I start my morning with a one sentence prayer before my feet hit the ground. "God, help me to see the good in all things I encounter today."
2. I expect to FIND good in all circumstances so I LOOK for it. Sometimes it's harder to find than others but it is always there.
3. When I find myself in a negative environment, (whether I have created it or someone else has) I get out. I walk away or steer the conversation to a positive or just change the subject. This is the hardest of the 3 things to do but you have to do it in order to feel the sunshine even when you don't see it. 

By the way, I found the SUN today! Even in the middle of the clouds and snow falling all around me, I took a quick picture of that well hidden friend.

Why Not Build A Stand?

We have all heard the statement, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade". Well I say when life gives you lemons; grab a hammer, do some work, build a stand  so that you not only make lemonade but you triumph through your trials.

In December, I made the choice to leave a job that I had loved for 3.5 years for another opportunity. I was very naive to think that the relationships I had built through that job would not change. Sure, not everything would be the same, but the deep down core of my closest relationships, I thought would stay intact. I WAS WRONG in all but one relationship.

This was not the fault of any of us. It is just the way it happened. It hurt. I felt lost. I grieved as I am sure many of them did. I knew that there was a lesson for me to learn. While driving to my new job of just 2 weeks, the thought occurred to me that I had spent too much time holding onto my lemons. It was time to not only make lemonade. It was time to grab my hammer and build a new lemonade stand. That is what I am doing!

What lemons do you need to let go of? Life is not fair. We all know that. It is not as important WHAT happens to us as it is the HOW we respond.

1. Let go of the hurt. Holding on to bitterness is the easiest way to become depressed.
2. Have the tough conversations. It is important to address the issues so you can leave the past behind and truly move forward.
3. Forgive those that hurt you. Ask for their forgiveness as well. We all played a part in the problem. Own yours so they can own theirs.
4. Pick up your hammer and start building! This is the moving forward part. Build new relationships. Focus on the positives in your life. Learn a new skill, improve strengths you already have. 

Above all else, I was reminded what it really meant to trust God. I knew that His plan was perfect even when it didn't feel like it. I am very happy to say that I am building the foundation of my new lemonade stand. I have focused on producing quality work that I am proud of. I have learned to worry less about what everyone else thinks. I am just enjoying getting to know new people and building new relationships.

I love you all!

Happy Birthday to My Love

It feels so good to be able to say HAPPY 44th BIRTHDAY to my amazing husband Chris. Those of you who don't know our story may ask, "why is this any different than wishing anyone else happy birthday?".

Wishing Chris happy birthday is different because in May of 2006 all the doctors we spoke to told us Chris won't be around to see his 37th birthday. (Except for one who believed in miracles and said he would give it a shot!) Chris was diagnosed with a horrible terminal cancer in his head, neck and throat.

Numbers like 98% mortality, 6 months to live, .6 white blood cell count are what we heard from everyone. So to say 6.5 years cancer free & 44th birthday sounds awesome to me; would be an understatement!

Chris never said why me. He only said what do I need to do to beat cancer and then did those things!

When questioning the circumstances you may find yourself in, always question with an attitude of WHAT CAN I DO, right here, and right now to make things better.

Maybe you need to Trust God more... Maybe you need to forgive someone who has done you wrong... Maybe you are the one who has done wrong and you need to ask others to forgive you. Maybe you just need to keep doing what you are doing and Wait for God to open doors.

Whatever it is, don't put off tomorrow what you need to do today. None of us can assume that we will have tomorrow. Pick up the phone, pull out your Bible, go visit your family, walk back in to church (the roof will not fall down), The first step is always the hardest. All you have to do is to do it!

Love you all but especially my incredible husband who gets to celebrate his birthday this year with a huge Super Bowl Party!

Sometimes It Is Hard To Wait

This is my first blog post so please bear with me!

Have you ever had a day, a week or maybe even a year where you felt like you were doing nothing but waiting? For me 2013 was that year.

Waiting for answers as to why my husband was in so much pain despite lethal levels of pain medication. Waiting for my then 20 year old son to decide if he wanted to give college one last shot. (On dad and mom's dime!) Waiting on God to open new doors in my career when in May I felt released from the church I had been working at for over 3 years.

Waiting is almost never fun! Waiting is actually painful at times. What I discovered through some trial and error is that waiting is ALWAYS worth it. Sure, we may not get the answer or result when or how we thought we should. As the Apostle Paul said in Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him...". God is in control and it's our job to Wait. Then Trust that God is working it out for our good. Finally, we can Follow where He leads!

My husband had a trial surgery in May that allowed him to ditch the pain meds in July! My son enrolled in college classes in June to get that degree he needs so he can live in China and teach english. I left my job on December 23 with no guarantees but God opened an amazing opportunity at another church in January.

What are you waiting for today? Don't give up! God is working it out for your good.