When Tragedy Strikes... Families Pull Together ... Why Does It Take A Tragedy?

I don't know about in your family, but in mine, our biggest reunions happen at family funerals. I have spent the last few days at my husband's mom's house surrounded by many, many relatives, some of which I had never met in my 25 years in the family. I wish I could say that some amazing family member planned, organized and executed a giant FAMILY REUNION but unfortunately, it took the death of mammaw to bring us all together. Why does it take a tragedy to bring a family together?

As I was lying in bed this morning, I began to think about life and how trials and tragedies are what propels us to reach out. When you get a bad diagnosis at the doctor, you reach out for prayer and support. When a family member passes away, we reach out for comfort from our friends and family. When you lose a job, your home burns down, so on and so on, this is when we do the reaching out or reach out to those affected by one of these tragedies.

We do the same thing with God. When we are hurting is when we really reach out for God. He wants us to reach out to Him all the time. When things are going good we build our relationship with Christ so that when things turn bad, we TRUST Him to be there. It's natural to spend more time with Christ when tragedy strikes, and that is okay, but don't neglect spending time with Him during the easy times.

The same holds true in our earthly relationships. We need to be intentional to reach out during the "good" times, to build the TRUST and bond, so that in the bad times, we have those people to reach out to. How can we be intentional in reaching out when we are forced by tragedy to do so?

1. Plan a trip to visit when you don't "have to".
2. Make a phone call and just visit to visit.
3. Go to lunch, dinner, or coffee.
4. Send a card or letter. A hand written note is priceless.

I love my friends and family dearly but I will admit that I do not do a good job of this all of the time. I am going to be more intentional. I hope you will be too! Love you all!

Why Are We Picky Beggars?

As I was eating my lunch today, my little chihuahua sat at my feet begging for just one bite. I usually don't give in, but today his little eyes pulled at my heart, so I tossed him a fry. He ran over to it with such enthusiasm until he sniffed it. That little brat left the fry laying on the floor and came back to my feet to beg some more. I chuckled at the thought and tore off a piece of hamburger. I barley pulled my fingers back in time before he gulped that meat down without even chewing. Crazy little dog!

This got me thinking about myself and when I pray or "beg" God. I imagine God sitting up in heaven, looking at me at His feet, and thinking you crazy kid,  I have blessed you with so much but here you sit "begging" for something better.

I want to be content with what God has given me in this season of life. Don't get me wrong, I believe that our awesome God blesses us more than we could ever think or imagine. The problem is, I can be picky in what I receive as a blessing.

Sometimes the situations in life may not feel like a blessing but I want to start living a life where I look at all situations with a positive attitude. Often the trials, or fries in life, turn out to be God's biggest blessing. Let's join to together and thank God in all things. Good, bad, exciting, boring... whatever, they are all blessings. Each minute, each moment, each celebration, even each trial is a gift.

I want God's will for my life and for yours. I want to be thankful in all things. Let's not be picky beggars!

I love you guys!

Life Is Risky!

Life Is RISKY! Dating, Marrying, Going to School, Not Going to School, Getting a Job, Changing Jobs, Moving, Staying. Not just the obvious parts but ALL parts of life are RISKY.

When I was 18 and saying "I DO" on the altar at my church, to the love of my life, that was RISKY. If I had listened the the majority and believed I was too young or that it would have never last, I would not be celebrating my 23rd anniversary this summer.

Having two kids by the time I was 21 was VERY RISKY, but I knew, for medical reasons beyond my control, I needed to have my kids early. It was a risk well worth taking because I am as close as any parent could be to two amazing adults now.

Trusting a doctor who asked if we believe in miracles, to treat my husband's cancer , when all other doctors said the treatment would never work. They told us life post treatment would be so horrible that just going home and enjoying the days we had left was a much better option. Choosing to fight, was RISKY. 8 years later, I am so grateful we chose to fight!

Switching jobs was RISKY. Moving across the country was RISKY. I have chosen to take many risks in life and sadly, there have been risks that I haven't taken. I was scared. Scared of failing, scared of what others would say, scared of making the wrong choice. FEAR is the enemy of HAPPINESS. Fear grips and and causes us to play it safe, not take risks. When we allow fear or being comfortable to keep us from taking risks, we walk through the same ruts over and over again.

God intended for us to live life not in fear but in hope. Knowing that He is in control. He is here to walk with us as we take risks. Carry us when we can't walk anymore. Yes life is RISKY but God is bigger than all of that! Taking risks is worth it when God is on our side.


Last night I had the privilege to hear Christine Caine bring the house down at a women's event at Long Hollow with over 2500 other ladies. POWERFUL doesn't even begin to describe the night! She challenged us to take RISKS. Not to live in our comfort zone but to take the risks God is calling us to take!

Is Valentines Day Just For Those With A Significant Other?

Is Valentines Day Just For Those With A Significant Other??? My answer to that is NO! Since the 14th century, Valentines Day has been associated with LOVE. Before that is was a day to honor St Valentine of Rome who was martyred for performing marriage ceremonies for Christian soldiers imprisoned in Rome. He was buried on February 14, hence the reason why we celebrate Valentines Day on this day.

Okay, now that I got the history part over, I want to share why today is not just for husbands & wives, boyfriends & girlfriends, and the such.

When you are married or dating, you should never NEED a reminder to express your LOVE. You should do it everyday in the little things; like opening a car door, cooking dinner, cleaning the house, making his lunch, taking out the trash (before it's spilling out everywhere!!), a kiss goodnight, a text of encouragement, praying together, etc. You get the point.

So, today I am going to remember to express my LOVE for my amazing husband who I have celebrated 24 Valentines Days with, but I am also going to remember to express LOVE to those around me who may not have a special someone to buy them flowers or take them to dinner.

No day should ever be a day of exclusion. The greatest commandment Jesus left us with was to LOVE. My favorite verse is 1 Peter 4:8 "Above all, LOVE each other deeply, because LOVE covers over a multitude of sins."

Who can you include on this Valentines Day? Which of your friends or family don't have a Valentine? Send them a text, call them, buy them chocolates or flowers, take them to dinner... just find a way to include them!
This world would be a much better place if we treated everyday like Valentines Day and loved our GOD with all of our hearts and loved our neighbors as ourselves.

Happy VALENTINES day my friends. I LOVE you all and pray everyone of you feels loved on this day and everyday because our God LOVES you and that is what is most important.

If Tomorrow Never Comes...

If Tomorrow Never Comes...

I was reminded this week of the importance of living today and not waiting until tomorrow. A sweet, precious friend lost her husband Bruce on February 5. Was it expected? Was he sick? No and No! He went to sleep and woke up in heaven. That was it. No tomorrow, no next month or next year. 

God tells us to live in the now. Not to worry about tomorrow or stay in yesterday. Most of the time I am good about remembering that but sometimes I forget. I find myself thinking about what I should have done or stressing out about things that haven't even happened yet. Do you find yourself regretting or worrying rather than trusting and enjoying?

Lets make a commitment to live for today. Love those around us. Spend less time planning and more time doing. Sit down with your kids and play that game tonight. You don't have to wait until game night. Go and have coffee with your widowed neighbor. Stop thinking someone else will do it. God put them on YOUR heart not someone else's. Throw your hair in a pony tail and skip the make up today so that you can spend a little extra time with your husband this morning rather than looking "perfect" for everyone else.

I want to start each day knowing that it's a gift not a guarantee. How about you? Let's let go and enjoy this moment. Be happy, love fully, forgive daily, and give to others. If I go to be tonight and my tomorrow never comes like  Bruce's didn't on February 6. I want to know that I embraced today as if it was my last. No regrets!

I love you all and pray that you can live everyday like there is no tomorrow.

Perspective... A magical word!

When I woke up this morning and looked out the back door I was not surprised that the sky was yet again, a blanket of dreary, grey clouds. Just like yesterday, and the day before, and the day before... you get the picture! One thing I know for sure about myself is that I LOVE sunshine. The brightness, the heat, the warm feeling that it gives me not only on the outside but inside as well.

People... There is a reason why doctors diagnose us with seasonal depression. We need sunshine!

This has been a season of dreariness in Tennessee like have I have not experienced before. Day after day, the sun stays hidden behind clouds. Just like in life. We go through "seasons" where it feels the sun will never shine again. At every turn, it's as if the whole world is against us. Guess what... The sun is there. It may be hidden but it is still there. We have to choose to find it!

Even when we can't see the solution, or feel the love, or find the reason, we have a choice to make. We can focus on the negatives or CHOOSE to stay focused on the positives. We can believe in only we what see or we can have FAITH in the things unseen.

It's your CHOICE. No one can make it for you. Neither people or circumstances should effect our perspective. We should steer our own ship.

Here are 3 things I do everyday to make sure I am keeping a "sunny" perspective:

1. Pray! I start my morning with a one sentence prayer before my feet hit the ground. "God, help me to see the good in all things I encounter today."
2. I expect to FIND good in all circumstances so I LOOK for it. Sometimes it's harder to find than others but it is always there.
3. When I find myself in a negative environment, (whether I have created it or someone else has) I get out. I walk away or steer the conversation to a positive or just change the subject. This is the hardest of the 3 things to do but you have to do it in order to feel the sunshine even when you don't see it. 

By the way, I found the SUN today! Even in the middle of the clouds and snow falling all around me, I took a quick picture of that well hidden friend.

Why Not Build A Stand?

We have all heard the statement, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade". Well I say when life gives you lemons; grab a hammer, do some work, build a stand  so that you not only make lemonade but you triumph through your trials.

In December, I made the choice to leave a job that I had loved for 3.5 years for another opportunity. I was very naive to think that the relationships I had built through that job would not change. Sure, not everything would be the same, but the deep down core of my closest relationships, I thought would stay intact. I WAS WRONG in all but one relationship.

This was not the fault of any of us. It is just the way it happened. It hurt. I felt lost. I grieved as I am sure many of them did. I knew that there was a lesson for me to learn. While driving to my new job of just 2 weeks, the thought occurred to me that I had spent too much time holding onto my lemons. It was time to not only make lemonade. It was time to grab my hammer and build a new lemonade stand. That is what I am doing!

What lemons do you need to let go of? Life is not fair. We all know that. It is not as important WHAT happens to us as it is the HOW we respond.

1. Let go of the hurt. Holding on to bitterness is the easiest way to become depressed.
2. Have the tough conversations. It is important to address the issues so you can leave the past behind and truly move forward.
3. Forgive those that hurt you. Ask for their forgiveness as well. We all played a part in the problem. Own yours so they can own theirs.
4. Pick up your hammer and start building! This is the moving forward part. Build new relationships. Focus on the positives in your life. Learn a new skill, improve strengths you already have. 

Above all else, I was reminded what it really meant to trust God. I knew that His plan was perfect even when it didn't feel like it. I am very happy to say that I am building the foundation of my new lemonade stand. I have focused on producing quality work that I am proud of. I have learned to worry less about what everyone else thinks. I am just enjoying getting to know new people and building new relationships.

I love you all!

Happy Birthday to My Love

It feels so good to be able to say HAPPY 44th BIRTHDAY to my amazing husband Chris. Those of you who don't know our story may ask, "why is this any different than wishing anyone else happy birthday?".

Wishing Chris happy birthday is different because in May of 2006 all the doctors we spoke to told us Chris won't be around to see his 37th birthday. (Except for one who believed in miracles and said he would give it a shot!) Chris was diagnosed with a horrible terminal cancer in his head, neck and throat.

Numbers like 98% mortality, 6 months to live, .6 white blood cell count are what we heard from everyone. So to say 6.5 years cancer free & 44th birthday sounds awesome to me; would be an understatement!

Chris never said why me. He only said what do I need to do to beat cancer and then did those things!

When questioning the circumstances you may find yourself in, always question with an attitude of WHAT CAN I DO, right here, and right now to make things better.

Maybe you need to Trust God more... Maybe you need to forgive someone who has done you wrong... Maybe you are the one who has done wrong and you need to ask others to forgive you. Maybe you just need to keep doing what you are doing and Wait for God to open doors.

Whatever it is, don't put off tomorrow what you need to do today. None of us can assume that we will have tomorrow. Pick up the phone, pull out your Bible, go visit your family, walk back in to church (the roof will not fall down), The first step is always the hardest. All you have to do is to do it!

Love you all but especially my incredible husband who gets to celebrate his birthday this year with a huge Super Bowl Party!

Sometimes It Is Hard To Wait

This is my first blog post so please bear with me!

Have you ever had a day, a week or maybe even a year where you felt like you were doing nothing but waiting? For me 2013 was that year.

Waiting for answers as to why my husband was in so much pain despite lethal levels of pain medication. Waiting for my then 20 year old son to decide if he wanted to give college one last shot. (On dad and mom's dime!) Waiting on God to open new doors in my career when in May I felt released from the church I had been working at for over 3 years.

Waiting is almost never fun! Waiting is actually painful at times. What I discovered through some trial and error is that waiting is ALWAYS worth it. Sure, we may not get the answer or result when or how we thought we should. As the Apostle Paul said in Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him...". God is in control and it's our job to Wait. Then Trust that God is working it out for our good. Finally, we can Follow where He leads!

My husband had a trial surgery in May that allowed him to ditch the pain meds in July! My son enrolled in college classes in June to get that degree he needs so he can live in China and teach english. I left my job on December 23 with no guarantees but God opened an amazing opportunity at another church in January.

What are you waiting for today? Don't give up! God is working it out for your good.